Relapse (2024)

Relapse is emotionally painful for those in recovery and their families. Nevertheless, the first and most important thing to know is that all hope is not lost. Relapse triggers a sense of failure, shame, and a slew of other negative feelings. It’s fine to acknowledge them, but not to dwell on them, because they could hinder the most important action to take immediately—seeking help. Taking quick action can ensure that relapse is a part of recovery, not a detour from it.

• Ask for help. Many people seeking to recover from addiction are eager to prove they have control of their life and set off on their own. Studies show that social support boosts the chances of success. Help can come in an array of forms—asking for more support from family members and friends, from peers or from others who are further along in the recovery process. It might mean entering, or returning to, a treatment program; starting, or upping the intensity of, individual or group therapy; and/or joining a peer support group.

Some people arrange a tight network of friends to call on in an emergency, such as when they are experiencing cravings. Since cravings do not last forever, engaging in conversation about the feelings as they occur with someone who understands their nature can help a person ride out the craving. Others take advantage of the many types of peer support groups that provide, in addition to useful information, the wisdom and coping strategies of others who have faced the same hurdles; it is the ethos of such groups that members support their peers through crises without judgment.

Mutual support groups are usually structured so that each member has at least one experienced person to call on in an emergency, someone who has also undergone a relapse and knows exactly how to help. What’s more, attending or resuming group meetings immediately after a lapse or relapse and discussing the circ*mstances can yield good advice on how to continue recovery without succumbing to the counterproductive feelings of shame and self-pity. It can be a make-or-break source of hope.

• Reflect on the triggers. Reflect on what triggered the relapse—the emotional, physical, situational, or relational experiences that immediately preceded the lapse. Inventory not only the feelings you had just before it occurred but examine the environment you were in when you decided to use again. Sometimes nothing was going on—boredom can be a significant trigger of relapse. Such reflection helps you understand your vulnerabilities—different for every person. Armed with such knowledge, you can develop a contingency plan to help you avoid or cope with such situations in the future.

• Boost self-care. Engaging in self-care may sound like an indulgence, but it is crucial to recovery. For one, it bolsters self-respect, which usually comes under siege after a relapse but helps motivate and sustain recovery and the belief that one is worthy of good things. Too, maintaining healthy practices, especially getting abundant sleep, fortifies the ability to ride out cravings and summon coping skills in crisis situations, when they are needed most.

• Continue changing your life. Not using substances is only one part of recovery. Creating a rewarding life that is built around personally meaningful goals and activities, and not around substance use, is essential. Recovery is an opportunity for creating a life that is more fulfilling than what came before. Attention should focus on renewing old interests or developing new interests, changing negative thinking patterns, and developing new routines and friendship groups that were not linked to substance use.

• Develop a relapse prevention plan. Recovery benefits from a detailed relapse prevention plan kept in a handy place—next to your phone charger, taped to the refrigerator door or the inside of a medicine cabinet—for immediate access when cravings hit. Such a plan helps minimize the likelihood of lapses in the future. A good relapse prevention plan specifies a person’s triggers for drug use, lists some coping skills to summon up and distractions to engage in, and lists people to call on for immediate support, along with their contact information.

• Forgive yourself. Changing bad habits of any kind takes time, and thinking about success and failure as all-or-nothing is counterproductive. Setbacks are a normal part of progress in any aspect of life. In the case of addiction, brains have been changed by behavior, and changing them back is not quick. Research shows that those who forgive themselves for backsliding into old behavior perform better in the future. Getting back on track quickly after a lapse is the real measure of success.