Is he interested in me? How many times have you heard it from others or thought it yourself? Cut out the confusion and learn the signs he’s crushing back.
When you start crushing on a cute guy, you’ll quickly start to wonder ‘is he interested in me?’ You’re analyzing every single thing he does, how he speaks to you, the way he looks at you — maybe you go a little wacko.
But sometimes, it really is a challenge to figure out if someone is interested in you or not.
Not everyone is so obvious when it comes to displaying their feelings. Plus, some guys think of you as a friend, but occasionally drop compliments or flirtatiously touch you.
It’s also possible that their intentions aren’t so pure. That’s why it’s important to know the signs that a guy genuinely likes you back, and the signs that tell you he’s after something else entirely.
[Read:20 circ*mstances when a guy you like will never like you back]
Is he interested in me? How to read the subtle signs even if it’s not very clear
To be honest, you can never know for sure how someone feels about you unless they tell you. But, you can make a very good assumption based on how they ask you.
Until you get to the moment where they tell you how they feel about you and answer the mythical question, “Is he interested in me?” you should look at the signs.
Yes, that’s right, there are signs! If you keep your eyes out for these signs, you may get your answer.
1. You feel it
You may be second-guessing yourself, but your instincts know what’s up. Now, is he going to make a move? That’s a completely different question. Just because he’s interested in you doesn’t mean he’s going to pursue you.
However, if you feel he likes you as more than a friend, then you have more opportunities to test the waters with him. [Read: 27 signs he likes you as more than a friend and wants to date you]
2. He’s chatty
He wouldn’t be investing his time in talking to you if he wasn’t interested in you.
He texts you, calls you, talks to you at work or school. You spend more time talking to him than you do to your other friends. That has to count for something.
3. Your conversations have meaning
If you just talk about the weather or how wasted you were last weekend, that shows a lot about your relationship—not much going on.
But if the conversations between you two aren’t small talk, as in, you actually have shared some deep moments together, then this is a great sign. If he talks about more than himself, wants to know more about you, then you’re getting somewhere. [Read: 28 very awkward questions to ask guys and weird, embarrassing ones not to]
4. He includes you in other parts of his life
If you know him from work or school but he invites you out with his other friends, great. When he includes you in other parts of his life, it shows that he thinks highly of you.
Now, on its own, this shows you he either likes you as a friend or as something more. So, look at other signs as well if he’s doing this.
5. He remembers the things you like
You may not think that this is important, but it is. Most guys have selective hearing, they hear what they want to hear.
But if he remembers how you like your coffee or what your favorite dessert is, it’s a sign he cares about you. Does this mean he’s in love with you? No. But it does show he cares.
6. He flirts with you
When people flirt, it’s used to build sexual tension between each other. Now, if it’s purely platonic, there’s usually very limited to no flirting.
However, if he’s into you, he’ll flirt with you, tease you, and even lightly touch you. Though, some men are naturally flirtatious, so, keep an eye out for that. [Read: 34 unmissable, spot-on signs a guy is flirting with for sure]
7. He glows around you
He’s always laughing and smiling when you’re around. Makes sense though, right?
When you like being around someone, you’re happy. So, why would it be any different for him? If his mood changes, positively, when you’re around him—that’s the ticket.
8. He’s protective
Now, this doesn’t mean he’s obsessive and possessive of you. Possessiveness is a bad trait that also shows his interest, but in a very unhealthy manner, so watch out for that.
What we’re talking about is protectiveness, say if you’re at the club and some guy approaches, not leaving you alone, he has no problem getting involved. Whether he physically or verbally protects you, he has your back.
9. His body language
Body language is a huge sign when it comes to seeing if he’s interested in you. It actually accounts for over 80% of human communication, so, it’s best you pay attention to it.
If he’s interested in you, he’ll be open and face you directly. He won’t have a problem getting close to you, and he’ll give you direct eye contact. [Read: The male body language and 34 subtle clues to read his mind even if he doesn’t say a word]
10. He tries to make you laugh
He wants you to be happy around him, thus, he tries his best to do so. He’ll make jokes, making sure that you’re not bored around him. Though he’s trying, he doesn’t have to since you already like him. You already probably think he’s one of the funniest guys you know!
11. He’s nervous around you
Some guys aren’t so suave around women that they have feelings for. Instead, they’re the complete opposite, nervous wrecks.
They can’t say a full sentence without stuttering, maybe they feel intimidated around you. If he’s worth it, then he’ll learn how to handle his anxiety.[Read:Is he playing hard to get or just isn’t into you?]
12. All of a sudden, his appearance improves
Remember when you two first met? He was always wearing sweatpants and a baggy shirt. But now, he’s decked out in slim-fitting trousers and a fitted t-shirt.
What an odd change, don’t you think? All of a sudden, he’s putting more effort into his appearance… well… you could be the reason why.
13. His demeanor softens around you
In front of his friends, he may play the whole “tough guy” act, but in front of you, he softens right up. He’s showing you his true colors because he trusts you and feels comfortable around you. Now, this may not mean he’s into you, but it does mean that he cares about you.
14. He’s handsy
He likes touching you, hugging you. In fact, he can’t keep his hands off of you. Of course, he’s probably controlling himself as much as he can but it’s hard when you like someone. If you notice him touching you, that’s usually a strong hint that he’s into you. [Read: Romantic hug vs Friendly hug and how to feel the difference instantly]
15. He remembers insignificant things
When a guy is into you, he will hold onto things you said, things you did, etc. He will want to know everything about you.
You can tell this when he brings up things you’ve told him in the past, like taking you somewhere you always said you wanted to go, or buying your favorite candy, for example. These signs mean he’s paying attention, and you can be quite sure you have him right where you want him.
16. You have his full attention
When a guy is head over heels, he can’t seem to shake his fixation. His eyes will be glued to you, and he’ll be holding on to every word you say.
He might have tunnel vision where it’s like he hardly notices anything else going on in the room. These are all good signs that he’s made you the center of attention, and he’s definitely interested.
17. He’s talking about you in the future tense
A guy who’s interested in you will begin to include you in future plans and scenarios. For example, if he brings up wanting to take you somewhere or show you something at some time in the future, he’s showing that he wants you around for the long term.
Guys who aren’t that into you will say vague statements like “you should go there sometime” or “ask a friend to take you there.” When you become an established person in his future-tense plans, he’s establishing his interest. [Read:21 easy-to-recognize signs your male friend has feelings for you]
18. “You” will turn into “we”
If the guy you’re talking to starts saying things like “we should check that out,” or “we need to try that one day soon,” it shows that he acknowledges that there’s something between you two, for both of you to be considered as one entity.
As mentioned in the last sign, if he says things like “you should check that out,” he’s categorizing you as an individual entity, whereas “we” signifies a couple. Still asking “is he interested in me?” In this case, yes he is!
19. He tries to impress your friends
If you’ve introduced him to your friends and he’s on his best behavior, he’s trying to gain their approval. A guy knows that getting in with your friends will earn him brownie points, since your friends will most likely tell you what a great guy he is.
If he treats you extra special in front of them, that’s a definite sign that he’s into you.
20. He introduces you to his friends and family
When a guy introduces you to his friends and family, you can be sure he considers you as someone special. He’ll bring you home, because he wants his loved ones to meet someone he is really into and considers a potential long-term girlfriend.
He also wants their opinion, so that he knows what his loved ones think before taking the next step. [Read: 18 steps to prepare yourself to impress his parents when you meet them]
21. He responds to your texts quickly
Guys are not usually the best at texting etiquette, but if he is really interested in you, he’ll usually respond to your texts very quickly.
If he’s the type of guy who is glued to his phone, but when the two of you are apart, he responds hours later, he isn’t that interested.
22. He wants to get close to you
When a guy really likes you, he will do anything to get close to you. He might lean in when you show him something on your phone, brush up against you subtly, help you with your jacket, or something similar, in order to get closer to you physically.
The difference between a guy who’s into you and a guy who just wants to sleep with you is that the one who’s genuinely interested will wait for your signal that it’s okay for him to get a little closer. [Read:26 very obvious signs a guy is attracted to you sexually and desires you]
23. Deep eye contact
If a guy stares deeply into your eyes, he is definitely interested, to the point where you wonder if he blinked at all while you were talking. This is a fairly obvious sign that he can’t keep his eyes off you.
24. He’s playful
A lot of guys get really playful when they truly like someone. If he teases you, jokes with you, “accidentally” bumps into you in cute or flirty ways, he does it because he is really into you.
He also probably likes your reactions, and it probably helps with any of the pent-up sexual tension. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease without being weird]
25. He compliments you in front of other people
If a guy compliments you frequently in front of friends and family, and even strangers, then he is definitely showing the world that he’s proud to be around you.
He wants you to hear it too, so that you know just how much he really likes you. If you notice him paying you compliments in front of others, you can consider him yours. [Read: How to respond to a compliment and accept it without feeling awkward]
26. He wants to hang around with you a lot
A guy will rarely spend so much free time with someone unless he is really interested in them. If he calls you a few times a week to hang out or go places together, he values you so much that he can’t get enough of your presence. This is a great sign that he sees the two of you as an item.
27. He doesn’t pressure you to have sex
A man who truly respects and values you will feel that you are worth the wait. If he pressures you, he may just be showing interest to get in your pants.
Guys who really like someone will like spending time with them and will genuinely enjoy their company, whether it includes sex or not. If he’s willing to wait, then you’ve got a good guy on your hands, and he thinks highly of you as well. [Read:25 signs your guy friend is falling hard for you even if he hides it]
28. He calls just to say “hi”
A guy who calls for no reason really wants to make sure you don’t forget about him. He is also showing you that he can’t forget about you, and doesn’t even need an excuse to call you.
Calling you just to say hi means that he thinks about you and wants to make sure you know it.
The signs above are definitely good indicators of whether or not the guy you’re interested in shares the same sentiments as you. Keeping an eye out for these clues in his behavior will show just how much he values you, and where he sees you in his life.
29. He comes right out and tells you
Anf finally, if he just comes out and tells you, this is the best thing that could happen! You don’t need to analyze and constantly read into what he’s doing. He likes you and he told you, that’s the end of it. [Read: 35 flirty questions to ask a guy to find out if he’s interested]
Is he interested in you for all the wrong reasons and just using you?
Ever felt like you’re being used in the relationship? Sometimes, your instincts are your best judge.
We’ve talked about the signs to answer “is he interested in me,” but how can you know that he’s into you for the right reasons? Maybe he’s using you or he’s just after sex.
Now, don’t panic. We know that you were feeling joy when you read the signs above and now you’ve just read this section and you’re freaking out. There’s no need.
There are some very clear signs that his interest is not particularly positive. If you’re not seeing the following signs, it’s all good. But, if you do see these signs below, perhaps question what his intentions really are.
1. You’re his rebound
Are you dating a guy who’s just broken up with his girl? Or does your boyfriend spend a lot of time talking about his ex?
If you’re dating a guy who’s still obsessed with his past, there’s a good chance that he’s still not over his ex and is using your intimacy only to stitch his heartbreak up.
If you’re thinking of dating a guy who’s overcoming a recent breakup, take things slow and find out if he genuinely loves you before you start dating him. A relationship that’s built over open wounds will lose its importance once the old wound heals. [Read: 16 signs you’re the rebound girl a guy is sleeping with to get over his ex]
2. He wants you to be his arm candy
Some guys don’t really care who they’re dating as long as his friends think she’s attractive. You could be the dumbest or the snottiest person in the world, but he wouldn’t care as long as you cling on to him when he’s out with his friends.
Are you dating a guy who tries to hold you really close or indulges in public display of affection only when he’s in front of his friends? Does he ignore you or avoid cuddling you when both of you are at home?
If a guy gets touchy feely in public or when his friends are around, but avoids intimacy or romantic gestures when no one’s around, he’s probably only using you to show off in front of his friends.
Stop him when he tries to get physical in front of others, and watch how he reacts. If it annoys him or if he tries to manipulate you into doing something in front of others, he’s definitely using you.
3. He’s only interested in sex
Sometimes, a guy may pretend like he’s fallen in love with you only to have sex with you. And once he gets to do that a few times, he’d start to lose interest in you or may start to take you for granted.
Are you in a relationship where your guy’s lost interest in you ever since both of you had sex?
It’s sucks to be in a relationship like this, but you know what, there’s nothing you can do about it. If a guy you’re dating isn’t making an effort to keep love alive, he doesn’t deserve a great girl like you. End the relationship, learn from your mistakes and move on. [Read: 25 signs he’s just using you for sex and all the reasons why he’s doing this]
And always remember this. Don’t ever get pressurized into having sex very early into a new relationship. It kills the excitement. Wait at least a couple of months before you go to bed with any guy *unless you’re interested only in the sex too*. If he truly loves you, he can learn to stick around.
4. He’s trying to get back at his ex
This is more common than you can ever imagine. Many guys date a new girl immediately as soon as they break up only to annoy their ex.
How can you tell if he’s using you and not really interested in you?
Here are two clues. He would try to take you to places where his ex hangs out almost all the time. Or by some miraculous coincidence, both of you would constantly bump into his ex now and then and he’d be more than happy to bump into her. And at times, he may even hold you closer when his ex is around.
There are two things you need to know about this type of a guy. He would go to any end to hurt the people who upset him even if they’re upset already. And two, he doesn’t love you. [Read:The secret signs your boyfriend’s not over his ex yet]
5. He wants access to your connections
Are you a popular girl with a lot of friends? Or are you working somewhere influential and have a lot of powerful friends? You’d definitely be on the date list of many guys who could benefit from the people you know.
Are you dating a guy who prefers meeting you when your friends are around? Or does he love going to social gatherings with you?
If he likes public dates more than a romantic twosome date, that’s something you need to think about, don’t you think? At the start of a new romantic relationship, all lovers want to do is lock themselves away from the rest of the world, not hobnob with each other’s friends!
Your guy may be using you only to advance his own career prospects or to become the new popular kid in town. Avoid these guys because they’ll squeeze you dry and walk all over you once they’ve got what they wanted.
6. Sugar momma
If you’re a girl with a lot of money in the purse, you always need to be cautious about the kind of guys you date. Almost always, more than half the guys you date would be after your money than anything else.
And of course, he says he’s filthy rich but coincidentally, his “millions upon millions” are locked in a trust fund in Cyprus or Malta, or god knows where!
Reading the signs of a guy who’s dating you only because you’re rich is never easy. Many guys pretend to behave chivalrously and never make it seem like they’re after you for the money until they’ve hooked you deeply.
But if you find that you’re the one who’s doing more of the splurging on dates and gifts, it’s a good sign you’re dating a boy toy.
Stop buying him things or taking him out to expensive dinners for a couple of weeks or a month, and if his behavior changes, you’ll realize he’s into you only for the money. [Read:15 posh signs you’re a highmaintenancewoman]
7. Easy pickings
Were you the one who asked the guy out? This is a common scenario that we see every now and then when a girl asks a guy out.
When you ask a guy out or tell him that you like him, he may not really like you but he may accept to date you because he’s got nothing better to do on Saturday night anyways.
And by hooking up with you, he gets to have sex with you and have some company when he’s got no plans. For a guy, that’s a really good bargain! [Read: Should a girl ask a guy out before he asks her out?]
This is the kind of guy who blows hot and cold all the time. He may behave like a sweet guy at times, or completely ignore you at other times. To avoid this scenario from ever cropping up, avoid telling a guy your true feelings until you feel like it’ll be reciprocated by him.
Take your time before dating him, and get to know him better through a few casual dates. If he seems unenthusiastic now and then, he’s probably not as interested in you as he says he is, and is just using you to pass the time. [Read: 15 very sneaky ways to make a guy fall for you and ask you out]
It’s time to find the answer to your question
It’s hard to truly find out if a guy’s really interested in you for the right reasons. After all, even the nicest guys may be seen using these signs now and then in their own small ways.
But, if you’re seeing less of the second set of signs and more of the first, it’s a truly good indication that he’s crushing right back, and in a good way!
[Read:45 signs a guy loves you even if he’s never said it out loud]
Now that you know the signs, next time you see the guy, look for these signs to answer the question on your mind, is he interested in me? Do you see them? If they show multiple signs, then he just might be really into you.
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